A Place For Us
by Hisa-Ai
Summary: Arthur was busy enough with his kingdom, he simply did not have the time for Merlin anymore, and that... that was a terribly heartbreaking sort of thing to realize. "Merlin, you idiot..."


**This was sort of inspired by "A Place For Us" by Leigh Nash & Tyler James. I was listening to it and there's this line, "Don't worry there'll always be a place for us" and I just sort of took it and did _this._ So.**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Merlin or "A Place For Us." So. Yeah. There's that.

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_A Place For Us_

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*.*.*.*.*

Arthur was the _king_ of Camelot now, and he was growing increasingly busy because of it. He'd been plenty busy just as the _prince,_ of course, so Merlin was used to it. But, with his new crown, new title, came more responsibilities than Merlin had anticipated. More meetings and patrols and training sessions, and—more time spent away from Merlin, really.

But, it wasn't _just_ the time they spent together or how little of it there was, it was also the way Arthur _acted_ when they were alone together: distant, distracted, _different_...

Their kisses were shorter and rushed and left locked away behind Arthur's chamber doors—not that Merlin had ever expected much of that to change, he wasn't foolish, after all, but... he just hadn't expected Arthur to want so little to do with him anymore—truly, it was crushing him, slowly breaking his heart; he could hardly look at Arthur during meetings or as they walked down the hall together anymore, as it often left him feeling almost hollow and _aching_ for the way things had once been. And when they talked, Merlin couldn't help the clipped, sometimes curt, tone he took with Arthur these days.

He might have gone to Arthur with what he was feeling, but... Arthur was busy enough with his kingdom, he simply did not have the _time_ for Merlin anymore, and _that..._ that was a terribly heartbreaking sort of thing to realize.

*.*.*.*.*

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked, murmuring the question against the side of Merlin's lips, feeling his body relax as he wrapped his arms around Merlin and melted against him. He'd been working much too hard and long lately, and he was _exhausted, _but, having Merlin wrap his arms around him at the end of a long day... Always made everything so much better. No matter how things were going with his people and kingdom, no matter how much _harder_ he had to work... Merlin made everything _worth it,_ made everything _better._

But when he wrapped his arms around him that night, when he kissed him... It just felt... _Different. Wrong_ almost.

"Nothing." Merlin said quickly, leaning his head on Arthur's shoulder, wrapping his arms around him just a touch tighter.

"I know you, Merlin—tell me what's wrong." He prodded gently, swallowing, feeling a pit form in the bottom of his stomach when Merlin didn't answer, just shook his head against Arthur's shoulder.

"Merlin—love—just... tell me... tell me what's _wrong." _

"We... are we..." Merlin took in a shaky sort of breath and, before Arthur could process what was happening, he was sobbing against his shoulder, shuddering with the terrible sounds bouncing around Arthur's chambers in the most heartwrenching sort of way.

"Ssh." Arthur whispered, stroking his back, concern and worry pushing his confusion to the side for the time being. "Sssh. It's all right, Merlin. It's all right. Tell me what's wrong."_  
_

Merlin shook his head against Arthur's shoulder once again, sobbing quietly against him for the longest time, making Arthur feel helpless and lost when all he could do was murmur soothing words into his ear and guide him to the bed, make him sit down, still entangled in Arthur's arms. He should have been able to do _more_ than this, he told himself, he should have been able to _prevent_ such a thing from happening to begin with, he told himself, anger at himself boiling up within his veins. He was able to push it back down, however, just for the moment, as he told himself he needed to concentrate on _Merlin, _on finding out what was wrong, what had happened. What he had done.

"Merlin... tell me what's wrong." Arthur tried again, pulling away enough to tilt Merlin's tear stained face up towards him.

Merlin took in a shaky breath and wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. Arthur batted his hand away and wiped the remainder of them away with his own thumbs, stroking his face tenderly, a sort of fear etched across Merlin's face that Arthur knew was reflected on his own. Not knowing what else to do, he leaned down and kissed him softly, gently, hoping that might help in a small sort of way—because didn't his kisses always make everything better?

Merlin hiccuped against his lips, sighing into him even as more tears trailed down his face, not easing the dreadful sort of feeling coiling in the pit of Arthur's stomach.

Arthur pulled back, then, his hands coming to rest on either side of Merlin's face. "Tell me." He mumbled again, more a plea than an order.

"Are we... Arthur—" Merlin shook his head at last, eyes shining with even more tears than Arthur was prepared to handle. "Are we... _over?"_

Arthur's eyes widened, fear grasping him by the heart. _"No."_ He shook his head adamantly, panicked now; he knew whatever had been upsetting Merlin was more than a small issue, but... he had never expected _this_, had never expected his words would make Arthur want to cry as well.. "No—why would you think that?" He asked, his voice a low, hurt whisper.

Merlin shook his head, tears collecting at the corners of his eyes as he explained himself, everything that had been going on, how he'd been feeling, how _busy _and distant Arthur had been and how he was worried that, well...

"Merlin, you idiot..." Arthur shook his head when Merlin finally ran out of words, hands clutching onto his tightly, almost laughing in relief as his blood felt light, the panic and pain slowly draining from his very skin. "Why wouldn't you_ tell me?"_

"You've been so busy, I just... I didn't want to worry you." Merlin replied, ducking his head.

"You _need_ to worry me when it comes to things like _this."_ Arthur insisted. "I... all this time, you've... _Merlin..._ I love you more than anything else and—you should have—there will _always_ be time for _you._ Always." Arthur told him, squeezing his hand tightly. "Always—_hey—__**always."**_ He repeated ducking his own head to meet Merlin's eye, a small, relieved smile on his face.

"Always?" Merlin mumbled, looking up at Arthur with a small smile of his own on his face that made something else entirely flutter in Arthur's stomach.

"Always." He nodded.

Merlin's head jolted up and he shook his head, a laugh escaping his lips as he wiped at the corners of his eyes. "I should have known better," He said then, still shaking his head. "You could never survive without me; you'd never be able to end it between us and manage to rule the kingdom afterwards. Couldn't be done." He declared, chuckling as he loosened his hand from Arthur's and leaned into him, silencing the chuckle he'd elicited from Arthur with a slow and careful press of his lips, sighing against him in a free, comforting sort of way he hadn't done in quite a while—not since Arthur had been crowned king, when he thought about it for a moment.

The guilt came then, winding itself around his heart and making the anger at himself bubble back up in his veins; now that he was sure Merlin would be alright, now that he'd managed to soothe his sobs and ease his worries... He could only focus on hating himself, for that small moment, on how he truly _had_ been neglecting Merlin as of late, all but pushing him away...

Did that make him a terrible person, he wondered, to put his kingdom before the one he held dearest to his heart? Or did that simply make him more like his father than he'd thought? The thought left him with an odd taste in his mouth, and he felt a stab to his heart—his father had been a great man, in his own right, but, there had been plenty he'd done wrong, plenty mistakes he had made along the way, and Arthur did not want to make the same mistakes as he had, did not want to go down the same path, fall into the same ways...

Pulling back, Arthur could see confusion written upon Merlin's face, and he adverted his eyes against the weight of it.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked, voice hesitant and tight.

"I don't want to end things between us, Merlin." He said without further prodding, clenching his free hand into a fist. "But... I have a duty to my people, to take care of them, to protect them—"**  
**

"I know," Merlin interrupted. "And I'm not asking you to put me before your kingdom—"

"No, I want to—" Arthur sighed, cutting himself off. "Merlin," He began once more, slowly raised both his hands, placed them on either side of Merlin's face, leaned in to press his forehead against his, smiling softly with the gesture. "I know I'm busy, and you know I'm going to continue to _be_ busy, but... I promise, form now on, I will try to make more of an effort to... spend time with you—I _will_ make more time for you. I promise. Because without you... there isn't a Camelot. Without you, _I_ am nothing—_Camelot_ is nothing."

"Well," Merlin smiled, "At least we can agree on _that_ much."

"Shut up." Arthur said, leaning forward to kiss him once again.

Arthur knew that wouldn't be the end of things—it couldn't be; it _never was_—but, for the moment, it all seemed... so simple—a promise, a kiss, and everything was _fine._ He could allow himself to believe, for that moment, that that was how things would always be, that it would _always_ be that simple, that it would _always_ be that easy. Even though he _knew_ it wouldn't—couldn't—always be, he could allow himself, as Merlin smiled against his lips, to believe so.

Because that was truly the only thing there _was_ to believe anymore.

*.*.*.*.*


End file.
